Zoo News!

Last Friday we took Carter to the San Diego Zoo for the first time (we'd only been to the Safari Park before). Of course Carter found the entire day fascinating, but his favorites were probably the flamingos and the fish that were swimming in the hippo's water (I see another trip to the Aquarium of the Pacific in our future). I love seeing the world through Carter's eyes. It's pretty amazing! 

Lightening/Stripping/Removing Black Hair Dye

Last week I decided I was done with my black hair. It's been black for a while and it's the color I seem to go back to time and again. I love it, but here's the thing about black hair: It is VERY difficult to change your hair color once you've dyed it black! In the past I've added some highlights when I wanted a change, but this time I got the idea that I would just remove the color myself (which I've done before with no real problems...although my hair was very short at the time and only had black on it for a month or two). I watched some youtube videos and going into it I hoped it wasn't going to be too hard. Yeah, I was wrong...

For my 1st attempt at removing the black (notice I said FIRST), I used One 'n Only Color Fix from Sally's. I'd read good reviews about it and it seemed like it would be less damaging then other ones out there.

While it lifted a good deal of the black, my hair was still pretty dark and the color was uneven. As I dye my hair every couple months I'm assuming it only took off the first layer of color. I didn't want blonde by any means, but a nice chocolate brown. To get that I needed it to lift more color first.

So the next day I went with Loreal Haircolor Remover (which is the type I've used in the past). I think it works the best, but it comes with very little product. Ideally I would have used two bottles for my short hair so if you have long hair keep that in mind.

While it was still wet it appeared to be an array of colors. I was worried!

 But it dried to a fairly solid orange-ish color (sorry I don't have a better pic of this).

 I gave my hair rest for a couple days and then dyed it using Revlon Colorsilk in #37 Dark Golden Brown. 

I went with a lighter shade then what I wanted because I read it would probably take darker, but that wasn't the case. I want to go darker, but I've got to give my hair a rest for at least a couple weeks before I attempt anything else. In between each process I deep conditioned the heck out of it and I use "It's a 10" leave in conditioner.

(I have on full makeup in the pic with my black hair but not in the other so I look a little pale)

What lessons have I learned through this process? #1 Do NOT dye your hair black unless you want it to be black forever because it's a pain to get out! #2 Go to a professional for the lightening process! In the end it will probably cost the same amount of money and save you some of the hassle. 

Weekly Roundup 1/20-1/26

This week included some fun outings, once of which was a trip to our local dairy that also has a small farm with sheep and other animals to feed. I've been wanting to take Carter for a while now and he enjoyed himself as I knew he would. Besides the sheep there are bigs, rabbits, ducks (and all other sorts of birds) and guinea pigs. It's a pretty cool place!

Having a little snooze. Naps have been hit or miss lately (although I'm actually trying to bring naps to an end as he sleeps much better at night without one).

Creating his own "zoo"

Yia Yia got him his own BBQ!

This kid loves computer time! His two favorites are ABCMouse and Owlieboo (fun kids sites). He also loves the necklace he's wearing in this pic. I often wear necklaces and he asked to wear one, too. I think it's adorable :)

And at the end of most days here is what the house looks like! Messy, but we're happy and that's all that really matters!

Deja Vu

Today I attended Women's Wisdom at Common Ground Spiritual Center for the first time in far too long. I'm really making an effort this year to take those two mornings a month (for an hour and half) and renew myself. My head space has been pretty cluttered the past few days mostly with thoughts of TTC (or lack thereof since I don't see the RE for another month) and also with my grandma (I'll go more in depth on that another time). So when I sat down and heard this poem read by my friend Nancy I knew I was exactly where I needed to be.

"As children bring their broken toys

with tears for us to mend,

I brought my broken dreams to God

because He was my friend.

But instead of leaving Him

in peace to work alone,

I hung around and tried to help

with ways that were my own.

At last I snatched them back and cried,

"How can You be so slow?"

"My child," he said, "what could I do?

You never let them go."

~Lauretta Burns

I had a complete sense of deja vu because I remember this poem very well from when we were trying to get pregnant with Carter. In fact I even wrote a blog about it titled "Letting Go and Letting God." I can't link you back to that old post (since it's on my old blog) but I'll post it here:

"Wow, I think that poem is simple, to the point and very poignant. Today I attended a class at Common Ground called "Dancing with Spirit." That was just part of the brilliant readings we had. It is something that I am definitely trying to work on in life, especially now.

Yesterday, besides class, I also had a doctor's appointment. Sadly (and frustratingly) I had another negative pregnancy test. My Clomid has been upped again (to the most that you can possibly take) and I'm not looking forward to the roller coaster of emotions those hormones induce. I gotta do what I gotta do though.

While I was in the waiting room I picked up a magazine that was next to me - - "Conceive Magazine." My first thought was wow, it must take a lot of people quite a long time if they can make magazine about it!So I thumbed through it and learned some interesting facts. A couple that has no fertility issues and are under 30 years of age only have a 25% chance of conceiving each month. I was surprised by this. Those odds aren't that great. Weirdly though, it made me feel better. Each month when I get that negative pt I feel like I'm drifting further away from my dream. In actuality, I'm getting closer. I've got to remember that.

Something I have always tried to work on is patience. This is a lesson I am being forced to learn right now. Too often I can be like the person in the poem, trying to budge God into doing things my way, in my time. I've got to truly let go and let God. It isn't easy, but I'm working on it. In the meantime, another month on the "baby making routine" begins. Believe me, it isn't as fun as it sounds. Calendars, pills, ovulation tests, hot flushes, break downs. Oh my! I'm keeping my eye on the prize though - - one day I will be holding my baby in my arms and all of it will have been worth it."

I wrote that almost 4 years ago exactly (January 29, 2010). It's so strange how I've found myself in that same place, dealing with very similar emotions. Again I'm having to learn that life doesn't happen on my time, it happens on God's time and there is a perfect plan in place that I just can't see yet. Some days that is easy for me to do, other days not so much. 

For instance, yesterday we were in the mother's lounge at Nordstroms waiting for Madison and another mother was there with her one year old. Carter was so sweet with her. He was fascinated with just about everything about her from the bow in her hair to her tiny shoes. She wobbled over to where Carter had his cars lined up on the couch and he very sweetly handed a car to her and said, "Here baby. You play with this one." It melted my heart. He then said, "Come on baby! Let's race the cars!" He continued to talk to and play with her. The entire exchange was precious. At that moment I felt simultaneously totally in love with my little boy and his kind heart, but also I felt an aching within my own.

I want to be able to give him a sibling so badly that is hurts sometimes. In those moments I've got to remember this poem more often. I have to let go. As I wrote four years ago, "One day I will be holding my baby in my arms and all of it will have been worth it." It was just as true then and it is now. Carter was worth it a hundred times over, just as our second child will be. Until then I affirm that I trust in the process of life.

IMATS 2014

Madison and I had a great time at IMATS this weekend for our third year in a row. It's such a fun day of shopping, chatting with other people that enjoy makeup (or are professional makeup artists or beauty gurus with their own youtube channels) and hanging out with my sis. We already can't wait until next year!!

With Ingrid from Missglamaorazzi

Weekly Roundup 1/6 - 1/12

This week consisted of some of our usually activities such as running errands, going to the park and enjoying some indoor activities as well and finished off with another visit from Madison and our trip to Disneyland. Today Madison started back to school so winter break is officially over. However, tomorrow is my mom's birthday so there is always a reason to celebrate :)

Playing with the tangrams he got for Christmas. He likes to create suns the most.

Helping me grocery shop

He created a makeshift hopscotch with his puzzles

Wearing Deedee's (aka Madison's) Minnie ears

On our way to Disneyland

Deedee was such a good sport and gave Carter lots of piggyback rides!

Carter is now at an age where it's hard for him to see Deedee go after a visit. I remember when I was in college how hard it was for me to leave Madison when she didn't want me to go. I don't like to see Carter sad, but I am also so happy to watch this wonderful relationship growing between Madison and Carter. They both love each other so much and truly enjoy one another's company. I know it is a bond that will only strengthen through the years and I'm so grateful for that.